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Opening Arguments

Sex drive

So we're fat and dumb? Make that fat, dumb and happy:

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Forget New York, Los Angeles, or even Miami, Indianapolis is the most sexually satisfied city in the United States, according to a new report. 

The Indiana city is followed by Columbus, Ohio, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Cincinnati, Ohio, and Salt Lake City, Utah, in the report by Men's Health Magazine that ranked the sexual satisfaction of people in 100 cities. 

"Maybe they should take the stretch of I-74 that's linking Indianapolis to fourth-place Cincinnati and hereafter call it 'America's Sex Drive'," said David Zinczenko, the editor of the magazine, referring to the motorway linking the cities. 

Researchers analyzed data on condom sales, birth rates from the U.S. Census Bureau and sales figures from two top sex-toy retailers to compile the ranking.

The mystery is why it took so long for the news to reach us. It was reported by Reuters last Thursday and only reported here yesterday. Guess we were all busy doing, um, other things, although this whole thing should be met with enormous skepticism. Even if we're doing it a lot, that doesn't mean we're enjoying it. And who even knows what's being done with those condoms. Dumb, remember?


Bob G.
Thu, 04/24/2008 - 8:07am

Well, I wonder if that study took into account the illegitimacy rate produced by all that "nasty going down" (pun intended) as well.

Indy DOES have a large "poor" population, right?
And since they can't (read won't) look for jobs that aren't really there, what better way to "pass the time"...other than crime, that is?

Fort Wayne can't be THAT far behind in that respect.



Harl Delos
Thu, 04/24/2008 - 12:08pm

Bob, it looks like Indiana needs better sex education. You don't produce babies by "going down" on your partner.

Although a student said to my wife, "You can't get pregnant by kissing, after all!"

She replied, "Depends on the kissing. If you do it VERY WELL, you can end up pregnant...."

Come to think of it, great kissing can result in marriage, too.