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Opening Arguments

Snuff said, Pat

First, Pat Robertson said he was misquoted and didn't really mean "assassinate him" when he said "take him out." Given the transcript of his remarks, that seems doubtful, so he finally apologized for his bonehead remarks, but not before galavanting busybody Jesse Jackson got into the act.

Too bad. I had already been trying to figure out exactly what Robertson meant by "take him out":

1. Take him out behind the barn and spank him.

2. Take him out to the old ball game.

3. Take him out on a date; dinner and a movie, perhaps, followed by deep discussions about God and Marxism, followed by a long walk on the beach.

4. Take him out of the loop by not talking to him anymore.

5. Take him out of the picture by . . . oops, guess that's what he really meant. Never, ever heard anybody say "take him out" and mean anything but snuff the guy.

Posted in: Religion


Thu, 08/25/2005 - 4:12pm

6. Take him out at the redline (you Komets fans know what I mean).

7. Take him out in five rounds (you boxing fans know what I mean).

8. Take him out as soon as he's finished eating (you puppy owners know what I mean).