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Opening Arguments

Sugar pushers

It didn't work with alcohol, and it hasn't worked with marijuana and other illegal drugs. It won't work with cigarettes, either. But they never learn, so now we have Twinkie Prohibition

With candy sales banned on school campuses, sugar pushers are the latest trend at local schools. Backpacks are filled with Snickers and Twinkees for all sweet tooths willing to pay the price.

“It's created a little underground economy, with businessmen selling everything from a pack of skittles to an energy drink,” said Jim Nason, principal at Hook Junior High School in Victorville.

This has become a lucrative business, Nason said, and those kids are walking around campus with upwards of $40 in their pockets and disrupting class to make a sale.

And you know the next step -- there'll be territories and vicious sugar gangs, and pretty soon nobody will want to work at McDonald's, and God knows what that will do to our already struggling economy. Here's a tip -- if you can't get the kids any other way, go after them on income-tax evasion.


Mon, 03/24/2008 - 11:56am

Well, that brings back memories. A buddy of mine said that his Dad bought him gum-balls and "Now-N'-Laters" instead of paying him an allowance. He'd go around our junior high selling the things at a 100% mark up and the result would be his allowance.

At the end of the day though, I think kids are going to end up consuming less junk via a kid furtively selling candy bars from a back pack than they will from the Springfield High School Coca-Cola Cafeteria (brought to you by Coke) - "Wanna Coke?"