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Opening Arguments

Protection racket

Freedom marches on. Er, make that "tiptoes carefully, always looking both ways."

FORT LEE, N.J. (CBSNewYork) — Forget dangerous driving, pedestrians are the new threat to street safety — phone calls, texting, music and wandering into traffic. Now, one New Jersey town is cracking down on the practice.

[. . .]

"They’re not alert and they’re not watching what they’re doing,” Police Chief Thomas Ripoli told CBS 2′s Derricke Dennis. “As of now, they are to give summonses to pedestrians who do not adhere to crosswalks and the lights.”

There is one slight problem, which police apparently aren't letting themselves be bothered by: "Unlike careless driving, there’s no specific charge for being a careless pedestrian, but Chief Ripoli said his officers are watching, adding they’ll know it when they see it." Like pornography, I guess. Oh, those of you who can't walk and chew gum at the same time? Don't worry. It's still legal.

Meanwhile, on the protecting-us-from-ourselves front, Indiana State Police are "giving fair warning" to seat belt scofflaws:

Troops will step up enforcement of the state's seat belt law beginning May 18.

It's part of a national mobilization that will occur over the Memorial Day holiday period. Thousands of law enforcement agencies across the country will be participating.

Apparently, the police have taken care of all the drunken drivers who want to crash into me, the muggers who want to beat me up, the robbers who want to steal from my bank, the burglars who want to break into my house, the con artists who want to cheat me and the sociopaths who want to kill me. Now, they have all that time and energy available to go after the one most evil, dangerous person in the world likely to do me the most damage -- me. Come and get me, coppers, I dare you.

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