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Opening Arguments

Alien nation

If you've been waiting for the stupidest survey of this presidential election season, here it is. Astonishingly, it's from the National Geographic Channel. Well, on behalf of that channel's "Chasing UFOs" series, but why they would even have such a preposterous show is the question. If aliens (outer space ones, not across-the-border ones) ever landed here, what would Americans do?

•22% would try to befriend the alien, 15% would run away, 13% would lock their doors, and only 2% would try to inflict bodily harm.

•If angry aliens did attack Earth, 21% would call the Hulk in to deal with it, 12% would call Batman, and 8% would call Spider-Man.

•Nearly 65% think Barack Obama would be better suited than Mitt Romney to handle an alien invasion.

Barack Obama, alien hunter? Really? I think he'd be much more likely to get Eric Holder to push for the aliens' right to vote and to lecture the American people about the need to respect the aliens' religion. And, come on, now, the Hulk, Batman or Spider-Man? Not Superman? Oh, wait, Superman is an alien, too. Might be a secret sympathizer. Don't ever ask him for his Green Card, by the way.


Christopher Swing
Thu, 06/28/2012 - 3:46pm

Obama would be better only in the sense that it's almost certain that Romney would totally be down with cooperating with the new alien overlords, "They Live" -style. That Obama might actually be willing to fight is the only thing he has going for him in that hypothetical.

But in contrast, the Above Top Secret crowd probably already believes Obama is one of the alien ghouls in real life.