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Opening Arguments

Judgment call

So, members of Congress are talking to TSA witnesses, and, as hard as it might be to believe, the common sense is coming from Congress:

WASHINGTON — If the Transportation Security Administration wants to fix its poor public image, it might want to stop patting down recognizable passengers such as former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.

"There are certain people that are just so well-known that you've just got to use your common sense," said Rep. Mike Rogers (R-Ala.), chairman of the House Homeland Security Transportation Subcommittee. "Because if you start patting them down, people are going to say, 'They're patting down Beyonce.' "I mean, she's not going to blow a plane up."

Granted, Beyonce looks as innocent as all get out -- well, of course she doesn't, but you get my point -- but who knows what evil is lurking in that pretty little head? The minute you decide not to search her will likely be the minute she decides to take down O'Hare. And I doubt if I'd let someone as scary-looking as Donald Rumsfeld on my front porch without at least making him walk through my Acme Build-it-Yourself Home Scanner. Henry Kissinger? You pat him down; I'll do Beyonce.

The TSA agents aren't going to pay any attention to this, of course. Using a little discrimination to decide some people don't need patting down would require judgment, and judgment could lead to error, and that will just get you into trouble. Much better to just say everyone is eligible for a patdown, and you can never make a mistake. It's like the law the General Assembly passed saying liquor store clerks had to ID everybody, no matter how old they looked. When lawmakers started talking about ending the requirement, based mainly on protests from old geezers like me, many of the liquor store clerks protested. They liked having to card everyone. If you have no guidelines to follow, you can never be wrong.

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