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Opening Arguments

High judo

Hey, man, I just wanted to mellow out, 'K? I mean, you know, it was, like, every time I stepped into the ring, some dude was trying to throw me down, man.

American judo fighter Nick Delpopolo was expelled from the Olympic Games on Monday after testing positive for marijuana he said he ate accidentally before arriving in London.

Delpopolo is the first of the 10,500 games athletes to fail an in-competition doping test.

[. . .]

"My positive test was caused by my inadvertent consumption of food that I did not realize had been baked with marijuana, before I left for the Olympic Games," Delpopolo said in a statement released by the U.S. Olympic Committee.

Wow. "Inadvertent consumption of food that I did not realize had been baked with marijuana." That ought to get a gold medal for Olympic Excuses.

Honest, officer, I was not drinking voluntarily. This woman stopped my car and made me drive to a liquor store at gunpoint, then she took me back to the car and tied me up and poured the booze down my throat. Nah.

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