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Opening Arguments

Jaded youth

Oh, these kids today, I tell ya. They just don't handle change very well, do they?

I’m a teen living in New York. All of my friends have social networks — Instagram, Vine, Snapchat, etc. Facebook used to be all I could talk about when I was younger. “Mom, I want a Facebook!” and other whining only a mother could put up with.

But now, at 13, I’ve been noticing something different. Facebook is losing teens lately, and I think I know why.

Part of the reason Facebook is losing my generation's attention is the fact that there are other networks now. When I was 10, I wasn’t old enough to have a Facebook. But a magical thing called Instagram had just come out ... and our parents had no idea there was an age limit. Rapidly, all my friends got Instagrams.

[. . .]

This leads me into my next point: Although I do have a Facebook, none of my other friends do. My friends just thought it was a waste of time. I decided to get a Facebook just to see what it was all about. I soon discovered that Facebook is useless without friends. My only friend is, like, my grandma.

[. . .]

It wasn’t the Facebook it was when I was seven. It got complicated — t was just kind of like, "We liked it the way it was. Why are you changing it?"

Not the Facebook it was when she was seven! My God, we have here a 13-year-old fuddy duddy pining for the way things used to be! Welcome to my world, kid. And I'll stay off your lawn, 'K?

Via Althouse, from Metafilter, where somebody observes:

Oh my god this is good but I just can't help chuckling at her repeated references to "a facebook." I think she and her grandmother have more common ground than she imagines.