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Opening Arguments

My way

OK, this whole "Oooh, look at us, we're so proud to be open-minded" stuff has officially gotten completely out of hand:

NEW YORK (CBSMiami/AP) — After 40-years of the slogan “Have It Your Way,” Burger King is scrapping it in favor of the more personal “Be Your Way.”

The chain says the new tag line will roll out across its marketing in the U.S., including in a TV ad that will begin airing Monday night. The line made its first appearance in an online video last month.

Burger King says that the new motto is intended to remind people that “they can and should live how they want anytime. It’s ok to not be perfect … Self-expression is most important and it’s our differences that make us individuals instead of robots.”

I need a stinkin' hamburger chain's permission to be myself now? I can feel good about eating my Whopper even if I'm  -- oh, the horror! -- not perfect?

Of course they really don't mean that at all. They mean I should be proud to be who I am if I'm a gay or a liberal or a feminist or an environmentalist or a struggling single mom. If I'm a patriotic Republican conservative Christian in a traditional marriage, I should probably just keep my filthy, degenerate mouth shut and go get a Big Mac.

Hey, Burger King, what if I'm an axe murderer? Is my self-expressiobn still "the most important" thing you revere in me as a customer?