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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.
Opening Arguments

In the bag

Psstt, hey, buddy, whatcha got in the bag, huh, huh, huh?

McDonald's is starting off the new year with new takeout bags that seem to offer customers a choice: Blare to the world that you’re lovin’ it, or hide your McIndulgence altogether.

McDonald’s started rolling out the new bags last month as part of a new marketing campaign that also includes commercials and employee uniforms as it tries to recover from stubbornly sagging sales and win back younger customers.

The takeout bags on one side feature the fast-food giant’s “I’m lovin’ it” slogan in large, red letters, with small golden arches in the bottom corner following the catchphrase. People who feel embarrassed about lovin’ the fast-food chain’s food, however, can opt to show off the other side—a generic-looking burger graphic amid a bunch of white space, with no McDonald’s logos—and keep their guilty pleasure a secret.

I didn't realize there were people embarrassed about being seen with a McDonald's bag, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. If you wanna be that way, fine, but don't let me catch you filchin' my fries, OK?

While we're on the subject, let me vent a little. McDonald's fries, back when I worked at the place and they used real grease, were probably the tastiest food on the planet. I could eat them all day long, and I bet some people drove miles out of the way to get some. I know a lot of people still like them, but allow me to say that the taste has deteriorated greatly since they went with that healthy crap to fry them in. McDonald's fries have the distinction of being the first food ruined for me by the nutrition police.