Among the pieces of advice for somone who wants to know if a real conservative and a real liberal can be friends:
(1) Finding shared non-political values even in people with opposing political views: One day six years ago I was in the check-out line at Target, behind a young mother with a challengingly rambunctious two-year-old. She was so patient, understanding and gentle with her daughter that I complimented her (yes, a total stranger) on her wonderful manner with her child. She has since become one of my closest friends, despite our realization, early on, that our politics were 180 degrees apart. But our values in terms of mothering and being a loyal friend, and how to treat other people are identical.
Pretty good advice throughout for anyone who faces this dilemma. I judge the piece as someone who has been there many times. It must be true that opposites attract; not only have I had many good friends who were hardcore liberals, but most of them have been women. I can't say my experience (as a conservative-libertarian hybrid, somewhere indeterminate on the right side of the political spectrum) is typical, but it might be instructive.
There are two ways to maintain a friendship with someone whose politics you do not embrace. One is to ignore your political differences and concentrate on those core "non-political values." The other is to embrace them. I've done both. Two friends in particular and I have spent most of our time together arguing politics. One especially has been a memorable running argument; no matter where we start, it ends up at the same mega-argument: Government is obviously way too big vs. government is way too small. With my other liberal friends, politics are generally avoided in favor of other philosophical discussions.
I can't say one way works better than the other. If there is a bond there, and it seems friendship is possible, I generally take my cue from the other person -- some people like to argue, and some don't. Since I've made my career out of arguing politics, I can certainly handle that. But I've also been around long enough to know there are other things in life, too. The one thing I don't recommend is for either party to hide what they are or pretend to believe something they don't just for comity's sake. Politics aside, dishonesty is the quickest way to ruin any relationship, or render it useless.
