Honestly, isn't this one of the strangest opening sentences to a news story you've ever read?
A federal grand jury in Ohio returned a
seven-count indictment on Tuesday charging 12 members of an
Amish splinter group with hate crimes following a spate of
beard cutting attacks on fellow Amish in the state.
Amish. Beard-cutting attacks. Hate crimes. They need to come up with a "CSI Buckeye" to deal with stuff like this. Oh, and three of the defendants are a father and his two sons named -- wait for it -- Mullet.