Hands down

Yikes -- more information than I want to know:

The gender gap has widened when it comes to hygiene, according to the latest stakeout by the "hand washing police."

One-third of men didn't bother to wash after using the bathroom, compared with 12 percent of women, said the researchers who spy on people in public restrooms. They reported their latest findings Monday at a meeting of infectious disease scientists.

Two years ago, the last time the survey was done, only one-quarter of men didn't wash, compared with 10 percent of women.

"Guys need to step up to the sink," said Brian Sansoni, spokesman for the Soap and Detergent Association, which co-sponsors the survey and related education campaigns.

Well, that's a shock. Men are less concerned than women about hygiene. So, stop worrying so much about exchanging bodily fluids and be careful of that next platonic handshake.

I am reminded of an old joke. Two guys walk away from the urinals, but only one goes to the sinks to wash his hands. "They taught me at (fill in name of university) to always wash my hands after urinating (obviously I cleaned up the language)," says the fastidious one. "Well, at (fill in the name of university)," says the other one, "they taught me not to p--- on my hands."

I love jokes like that, which can be used to insult anybody just by filling in the blank. My favorite may be: How are a tornado and a divorce in (name the state you want to insult) the same? Answer: Someone's gonna lose a trailer. When Bil Clinton was president, I heard Arkansas in the punchline. When I lived in Kentucky, the joke was told about Ohio. In Indiana, I've heard it about Kentucky.