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Opening Arguments

Had to happen

Is that your big baton, or are you just glad to see me?

A Miami International Airport federal security screener has been arrested for allegedly using an expandable police baton to beat up a co-worker.

The source of their conflict, police say: daily ribbing about the size of the screener's genitalia.

Screener Rolando Negrin's private body parts were observed by his Transportation Security Administration colleagues conducting training on the airport's full-body imaging machines.

Months of joking culminated on Tuesday night, when Negrin attacked co-worker Hugo Osorno in an employee parking lot, according to an arrest report.

Negrin ``stated he could not take the jokes any more and lost his mind,'' said the report, made public Thursday.

Fort Wayne International Airport, as you may have heard, is getting full-body scanners next week, but passengers "who consider the machines too invasive" will be able to request a sweep with a metal detecdtor instead. If you hear laughter after walking through the scanner, you might consider a sexual harassment suit.

God, I love these reversions to junior high.


Bob G>
Fri, 05/07/2010 - 9:58am

Makes 'ya wonder WHO screens the screeners, hmm?

And I also wonder how long before we see these full-body scans showing up on YouTube?
(I'm just sayin'...)