When I was around 8 or 9, I inadvertently saw that year's Christmas presents at the back of a closet. I kept pretending for a couple of months, but that was the real end of Santa Claus in my young life. I had learned an adult secret before my parents were ready to let me in on it. It seems overly simplistic to admit it now, but the discovery brought a profound sense of disillusion.
That was back in a time when parents really did believe they could keep their children cocooned in innocence, at least for a time. They closely monitored what their kids saw on TV, what movies they went to, what music they listened to and who their friends were. They tried to hold back as long as possible the time when adult evils such as drugs and random violence and thoughtless sex came crashing in the door. It was a never-ending job, but most people thought it was manageable.
Too many people, especially in my profession, seem to think we still live in that more rational era. You don't like that racy TV program? Why, just lock it out so the kids can't see it, and quit whining about something the rest of us want to see. Those rap lyrics are just too explicit? Silly you, that's why there's a warning label. But for every one thing parents block or prevent, there are a hundred more. The popular culture -- including, and maybe especially, that aimed at young people -- is saturated with crudity and sleaze. Parents can't monitor everything all the time.
Those are the thoughts that occurred to me when I saw this heartbreaking letter to the editor that we ran on Friday:
Preview at Rave was revolting
On Oct. 21, I took my 10-year-old daughter to see the movie “Dreamer” at the Rave theatre in Fort Wayne. This is a PG-rated, feel-good family movie. Unfortunately, the previews were not. The Rave showed a preview for a movie about child prostitution. This appalling clip openly talked about children having sex and being sold for sex, showed a grown man pulling the top off a young girl and had several other young girls half-naked on a bed with men approaching them. My daughter looked up at me and said, “Dad, should I close my eyes?” It was disgusting and inappropriate to display at a movie made for kids and families.
Sadly, my daughter, as well as countless other young children, will now have sexually explicit images forever burned into their memories. What I received in return was a disingenuous apology and the promise they will continue to rely on feedback from their customers instead of taking precautionary measures to actually ensure sexually explicit material does not end up in their movies for children. Thanks for nothing, Rave; your system really works!
Ken Brown
Delphos, Ohio
The letter is so sad not because of the single episode it describes, but because it symbolizes the whole mess of a world we've created for our children. Parents try to keep their kids in a PG world as long as possible -- they pay attention and do all the right things -- only to have to R-rated world forced upon them when they least expect it by other adults who can't see beyond their own selfish pursuits.
Lord knows there were problems with the "let the children be children as long as they can" approach. Too often parents didn't want to deal with the issues at all -- putting off those talks about sex and drugs until it was too late -- and left their kids unprepared for the adult world. But it seems far worse to me to steal childhood by pouring adult sludge into young minds not ready to deal with it.
That's why there was such outrage from parents over the Janet-Jackson-at-the-Superbowl incident. It was just one thing too many, the wrong crude thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. And those who tried to fly the freedom-of-expression banner at the FCC's swift reaction ("Michael Powell was at the opening baseball game and threw out the First Amendment," ho-ho-ho) seemed utterly clueless about the losing battle parents are still trying to wage.
As it happens, I liked the movie "Bad Santa," starring Billy Bob Thornton at his raunchy best. Just don't show the trailer for "Bad Santa II" at a showing of the next remake of "Miracle on 34th Street," OK?
Comments
Leo, you nailed it. Parents who take an assertive stand at "oversheltering" their kids get criticized for being Puritans, but parents who try to nonchalantly protect their kids end up not doing enough, as evidenced by the movie theater letter. Our culture has become utterly caustic to families, which has led to the deep cynicism our young adults carry around; they know far too much too soon.