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Opening Arguments

Think ahead

Chicago Sun-Times editors were embarrassed by their "prep copy" getting online, showing readers the three different ways the paper could cover the Obamacare Supreme court decision, depending on how it came out -- Obamacare overturned, Obamacare upheld, Obamacare partially upheld. But they needn't worry. Turns out the Sun-Times wasn't the only one thinking ahead:

But Mr. Obama has been doing more than sitting back and waiting. The president has three separate speeches prepared in anticipation of the ruling on his signature legislative achievement, a person familiar with them said.

One of the speeches addresses a complete overturn of the law, while another is crafted as if the court strikes down the law’s individual mandate but upholds other provisions. The third speech, for if the court upholds the entire law, is more celebratory, according to this person.

Kind of destroys your faith in the natural order of things, huh? You probably thought events happened, and then presidents reacted, news happebned, and then newspapers reported it.

In keeping with the spirit of the times, I've decided to prepare three different reactions to today's ruling:

If Obamacare is overturned: Boy, that was some ruling; think I'll have a chili dog for lunch.

If Obamacare is upheld: Boy, that was some ruling; think I'll have a hamburger for lunch.

If the results are mixed: Boy, that was some ruling; think I'll have a nap for lunch.

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