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Opening Arguments

O, Pioneers!

Our ancestors crossed oceans and prairies.  They climbed mountains and carved homes out of the wilderness. They fought wild animals and wicked weather. And this is what their descendants have come to:

The Indiana Department of Labor is encouraging retailers to take precautions to ensure employees and shoppers are safe during "Black Friday" sales and other major shopping days.

The department says a lack of adequate crowd management was to blame when a retail worker in New York was killed in 2008 when shoppers rushed through the doors. The Labor Department says other workers are injured each year.

I can see the Hemingway story now. The Old Man goes not to the sea but to face the perils of Black Friday without "adquate crowd management." He no longer dreamed of storms, nor of women, nor of great occurrences, nor of great fish, nor fights, nor contests of strength, nor of his wife. He only dreamed of bargains in their bins like lions on the beach.

I guess I'm one to talk. The only way I might get hurt on Black Friday is by tripping over the carpet when I take a break from amazon.com and go to the refrigerator for a snack.

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