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News-Sentinel.com Your Town. Your Voice.

It's all about me

Yeah, yeah, yeah

More "Summer of Love" crapola. I tell you, we're going to be absolutely sick and tired of this before all the boomer geezers get this out of their system:

The hippie movement bloomed like a kaleidoscopic flower during the Summer of Love.

To be young and part of the counterculture in 1967 was to be tuned in to a revolution that called for you to drop out of the conventional world.

The drive-through murder

It was a gloomy day in early June, with the kind of lazy, drizzling rain that lasts forever. The perfect day for a murder, and that poor sap Jerry wouldn't even see it coming.

The drive-through was crowded, so I put the wipers on intermittent, the better to watch Jerry hand out sacks of fast food and collect money, giving each patron a phony smile. He looked bored out of his mind, probably wondering if his day could possibly get worse. Days can always get worse, Jerry.

Never too late?

The "Summer of Love" was just a media-created fantasy that lasted but a few months, followed by decades of baby boomer nostalgia for what could have been. Now that the 40th anniversary is upon us, the drivel will start really piling up:

An example of adult humor

Yes, dear, I am intoxicated by that strong perfume. No, dear, that tight red dress and the fish-net stockings don't make you look tacky. I love the nine-inch heels. Oh, absolutely, the liberal use of hair spray only adds to your charm, and I am utterly fascinated by your grasp of the English language. No, of course not, I don't think $100 is too much. -- patronizing a prostitute

Perhaps I should send that to Patrick Knight:

Ray and me

Your may now pay homage to me as the genius you always knew I was. Back in October,  I wrote about Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451":

Bottoms up

I knew sooner or later the rest of the country would catch up with me:

Follow your dream

Advice for graduating college seniors: If you decide what you love to do, instead of looking for the most monetarily rewarding "career path," you'll never work a day in your life:

Wayne's world

I once started a book so bad that I stopped reading after the first chapter, went outside and threw it in the garbage can. Then, about 2 in the morning, I felt such pangs that I found myself rooting through coffee grounds, egg shells and used cat litter to retrieve the damn thing. That's how I feel about books. So I can't do a funny post about how sillly this man's book-burning "protest" is. It's a sacrilege:

Ugly is as ugly does

Leo Morris, saving humanity one date at a time:

In a recent study, sociologist Diane Felmee found only a third of women said looks were the first thing that attracted them to a man. Most preferred a sense of humour or financial and career success.

Researchers at Newcastle University also believe ugly men exist as a way of repairing our gene pool. Women would rather date men with good genes, who can fight disease easily, than a classically beautiful man.

The curmudgeon's handbook

Try to live your life as if it contains no strangers -- just people you don't like whom you haven't met yet.

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