I know there are a lot of you Santa deniers out there. How can one person possibly keep track of all the boys and girls in the world? How can he make all those toys? Most absurdly, how can he deliver all those toys in one night? The people trying to sell this nonsense must have cooked the data.
But, I tell you, the science is settled, OK? He uses the Internet. A lot of the Elves are really automation. Santa makes use of science and technology the rest of us just don't have at our disposal yet:
For instance, Santa's red suit: It's designed for the extreme conditions he encounters while traveling at warp speed and bending space and time. And, Mone says, "Santa's suit is laden with what are called metamaterials, which have the effect of bending light around a person so that they turn invisible" — which can come in handy if there are curious children peeking during his Christmas deliveries.
Santa's reading glasses, which contribute to his quaint image, are actually equipped with what's called a "heads-up display." When Santa looks through the lenses, he sees a range of information about the residents of the house he's visiting, the presents to leave, directions to the next house and more.
Oh, all right, I confess. I'm trying to get you to buy into the "science" of something that's really a religion. But we shouldn't dismiss something just because it requires a little faith. As I explained several years ago, in an article on the ontological proof of the existence of Santa Claus (sorry; our archives don't allow links):
It is logically contradictory to deny Santa's existence. Santa is that Christmas gift giving being than which no other greater can be conceived. If Santa existed only in the mind, he would not then be the greatest conceivable Christmas gift giving being, for we could imagine another being that is greater because it would exist in both the mind and reality, and that being would then be Santa. Therefore, to imagine Santa as existing only in the mind and not in reality leads to a logical contradiction
