It's leaf pickup time again, and I'm happy to note that I'm still in the Central leaf pickup district. It's true that my leaves might collect in a few empty buildings or get stuck too long at a red light here in Central, but at least they're not South leaves, liable to jump right out of the trees and mug me, or North leaves swirling around in snooty subdivisions thinking they're too good for me.
I'm a little worried, though. The South border is Rudisill, and I live on Oakdale, just two streets north. What if they move the lines on me? Then it will be nothing but constant shame and humiliation. You know how the media are -- "Leaves fall on South Side!" You never see that autmn crap in headlines about the North Side. It's like leaves never fall at Glenbrook. Those merchants have some kind of clout with the newspapers, I tell you.
