The law and the jungle

The right sentence, self-administered:

An illegal immigrant serving five life terms for the strangling deaths of his wife, three young daughters and a neighborhood girl apparently took his own life Thursday by hanging himself, authorities said.

It's about damn time:

Mo-ped operators in Indiana would need a valid driver's license and have to get the motorized scooters insured under legislation state Sen. Ron Alting plans to propose in the upcoming General Assembly session.

Three cheers for Rep. Alting. Mo-peds are already a danger on the road. With even more expected to be out there because of gas prices, now is a good time to try to reduce the menace.

I feel the need to be amused or intrigued by all things not related to Worldwide Economic Meltdown Panic, so this story caught my eye:

Police are looking for a man who exposed himself on several occasions at a convenience store on Indianapolis' south side and may be involved in other flashing incidents in the area.

They finally got Al Capone on income tax charges, and O.J. finally gets his, too:

The columnist George Will has often remarked that Barry Goldwater won the 1964 presidential election, but that "it took 16 years to count the votes." Ronald Reagan's 1980 election was a victory for Goldwater conservatives.

In that same spirit, O.J. Simpson has been found guilty of the murders of Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.

Don't forget that the voter registration deadline is Monday, but if you plan to register at one of the BMV branches, you only have until tomorrow, since they're closed on Sunday and Monday.

I know this is another dead horse I just can't stop beating, but this is just so stupid:

There's a new U.S. naturalization test, and the old civics questions that just require the memorization and repetition of facts are being replaced with ones that require a little more thinking:

Are new conceptual questions such as, "What does the Constitution do?" more difficult than old queries like "What is the Constitution?"

A naked sex offender broke into an Indianapolis man's home and entered the bedroom of the man's teenage daughter. Hearing his daughter's screams, the man struggled with the sex offender, got him in a choke hold and strangled him to death. Naturally, this creates the perfect opportunity to call up the usual suspects and get them to engage in the usual debate about self-defense and guns:

Here we are, in the vanguard:

Awww, them mean old policemans is spoling the widdle kids' fun: