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Opening Arguments

Zero out of three

The three reasons Larry King attracts all those hot, young babes. He's famous, so has access to all the best parties. He's rich. And:

The stereotypical woman likes to talk and the stereotypical man doesn't listen. But to most viewers King, perhaps one of the best listeners in the talk-show business, seems to be the opposite of that stereotype.

That gives hope to all us Dirty Old Men approching geezerhood. When I look at those three qualities -- rich, famous, good listener -- and do a self-assessment . . .

. . . never mind.