Current Affairs

Further evidence that I am getting way too old or the world is moving way too fast, or both:

RICHMOND, Va. - State legislators passed a law Saturday that would require adults who French kiss a child younger than 13 to register as a sex offender.

Does losing an hour make that much difference?

The Detroit Free Press obtained from the Michigan State Police crash statistics for the average Monday vs. the Monday after the time change, and the numbers are pretty crazy. On an average Monday in March, there are 1,022 accidents in the state of Michigan, but on the Monday after the clocks are moved forward, the average amount of accidents between 2002 and 2006 jumped to 1,396.

Gotta love it:

MAPLEWOOD, Minn. - All the world's a stage at some of Minnesota's bars. A new state ban on smoking in restaurants and other nightspots contains an exception for performers in theatrical productions. So some bars are getting around the ban by printing up playbills, encouraging customers to come in costume, and pronouncing them "actors."

Just what I needed in my life, airport officials protecting me from my tendency to be unduly influenced by Bad Things From The Web:

Travelers using Denver International Airport's free Wi-Fi service cannot visit Internet sites that airport officials consider provocative.

A report in The Denver Post says the airport is blocking Vanity Fair magazine's Web site, the hipster site boingboing.net and others.

The drug war started getting absurd when officials started banning "paraphernalia" -- not just drugs but anything like bongs and papers that could be used for drugs. It would be akin to banning glasses because you can drink booze out of them. Now, Chicago wants to take another silly step:

Tiny plastic bags used to sell small quantities of heroin, crack cocaine, marijuana and other drugs would be banned in Chicago, under a crackdown advanced Tuesday by a City Council committee.

A guy can dream, can't he?

The Upper East Side mansion seized from former Penthouse magazine publisher Bob Guccione has been sold by his creditors for a very sexy price.

According to city transfer records, the 27-room townhouse on East 67th Street, between Fifth and Madison avenues, has just sold for $49 million to Wall Street financier Philip Falcone.

If it's true that the longer the correction, the worse the original story, here's your entree to what must be the worst story of the year. At the end of the correction is this:

All these errors tended to give the story an anti-Summerlin tone, which was not intended and which the Sun regrets.

OK, kids, into the bedroom and under the covers. We'll lock the door and stand guard. Ring the bell when you're ready for food or need to go the bathroom:

I'm glad I've become more sedate as I've gotten older and no longer feel the need to go into dangerous places looking for excitement:

Two battling Boston moms face the next round in court after police say they turned on each other at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant.

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Sorry, multiculturalists, some cultures are better than others: