The law and the jungle

Insane lawsuit of the day:

A Northlake woman sued McDonald's in Cook County Circuit Court today claiming that her daughter was seriously burned in 2009 when a hot chocolate she ordered from the fast-food giant spilled and seriously burned her leg.

Sign of the times:

Dick Stoner's north store has been robbed twice in two years, so he's decided to do something about it.

Along with shouting out "Hi!" to your friend Jack, another good thing never to say at an airport -- "I have a bomb in my belly":

 Police at Indianapolis International Airport arrested a man Monday who claimed to have a bomb inside his stomach.

Purdue University did a little research and came up with an idea to decrease water runoff and flooding. The Journal Gazette approves:

A Purdue University study points to a relatively simple and inexpensive way to reduce flooding: Stop urban sprawl.

An Associated Press story notes that "in 1987, Congress enacted the Nursing Home Reform Law to address evidence of widespread abuse of nursing home patients. The states followed suit . . ." Those observations are followed by this curious passage:

But the emphasis on patient rights led some nursing homes to think they outweighed everything else.

Today's proof of the "person who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client" adage:

An Evansville man who insisted on defending himself and was sentenced to three years in prison is continuing acting as his own legal counsel and has filed a complaint about the presiding judge in his trial.

A lot of people in Indianapolis seem to have trouble believing that colleagues of police officer David Bisard -- experienced DUI investigators -- would "botch" the case so badly that the most serious acolohol-related charges had to be dropped against him in the crash that killed one motorcyclist and critically injured two others. But they did, letting the blood be drawn by a technician not certified for criminal cases. So:

Rod Blagojevich looks like a political huckser, and prosecutors kept saying they had an overwhelming case, so it was "a surprise to many," as the Times says, when jurors only agreed on one measly count. But maybe it shouldn't have been:

Those lovable goofballs of the Westboro Baptist Church, who have graced Indiana with their presence a few times, have been set free to again roam the land in search of military families to counsel. A federal judge has ruled that church members have a First Amendment right to picket military funerals with signs and chants railing against homosexuals.

The votes have been tabulated, so now we can give out our coveted Crime Watch Awards.

Criminal genius of the week:

On July 29, according to a probable-cause affidavit filed in Allen Superior Court, Anthony Dwight Laster and another person followed several victims into their apartments and forced them to lie on the ground at gunpoint while one of the men ransacked the dwelling.

The robbers took cash, GPS units, laptops, cameras, videogame systems and several cell phones.