Current Affairs

Today's evidence that the End Times might be nearer than we think:

Michael Jackson fans have launched a campaign calling for the superstar to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

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Today, we test your powers of observation and deduction. You've probably heard about the town manager in Florida who was fired when it was discovered that the manager's spouse was a porn star. The town is defending the move because it feared governance would be difficult "with all the disruption and interruption," which is, oops, just what it has since news of the firing broke. Anyway, your quiz today: Which one is the porn star?

It's fun to read about the president's foot-in-mouth moment and the apparent crashing-and-burning of national health care, but here's something truly astounding, which was buried inside the morning paper:

Two groups of Chinese researchers have performed an unprecedented feat, it was announced today, by inducing cells from connective tissue in mice to revert back to their embryonic state and producing living mice from them.

Thank goodness cooler heads prevailed, leading the Senate to defeat a national reciprocity measure allowing gun owners with permits to carry their concealed weapons across state lines. Otherwise, I might have had to fight my way to work through crowds of armed, angry Buckeyes just itching to cause trouble in the state they love to hate. As Sen.

The Census stopped being about mere demographics, congressional districts and presidential electors quite awhile ago -- it's now mostly about the money, as Mayor Tom Henry makes clear in remarks urging that every last person be counted:

Once again, "research" brings us astonishing news -- it is cheaper to make your own than to buy it ready-made:

Brits are forking out £600 a year for ready-made lunches instead of making their own, a survey has revealed.

Just when we thought the Michael Jackson moaning and wailing couldn't get any sillier, the lamentations take an absolutely surreal turn:

Detroit -- Two hearses jammed with stuffed animals left in memory of Michael Jackson were given a two-car police escort Friday to the toys' burial at Woodlawn Cemetery, leaving police officials highly critical of the decision afterward.

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I recently posted about West Lafayette's intention to spend nearly $24,000 to "educate" residents on how to use roundabouts. Here's a writer who says Americans should get over their aversion to these traffic managers. They promote safety, he says. They don't really add to drivers' overall time on the road. They waste less energy. They make more efficient use of public space.

By God, the money is just rolling in, isn't it? Indiana gets $4 million in federal stimulus funds to help clean up leaking underground gasoline storage tanks! Indiana is getting more than $9.5 million in stimulus money to help revitalize communities and create jobs!

So, I had an old movie on the Western Channel playing the other day while I was skimming the newspaper, and suddenly I heard Burl Ives singing "The Ninety and Nine." I think it was just an old song they had the rights to -- it didn't seem to have anything to do with the plot -- but it was pleasant to listen to. I went hunting online to see if there was a download of it, because I thought it would be an interesting version to learn on the guitar.