Hoosier House Republicans have voted to fine the hiding-in-Urbana Democrats $250 a day for their absence, starting Monday. Big whoop.

It is not clear whether Democrats will actually have to pay those fines. While fines have been issued in the House before, they have always been rescinded.

Shock No. 1: There is actually somebody in the federal government who takes illegal immigration seriously -- U.S. Rep. Lamar Smith, chair of the House Judiciary Committee, which has the responsibility for immigration issues. Shock No. 2: Smith is focused on the one approach most likely to succeed.

Regarding illegal immigration, however, he proposes a program of "attrition through enforcement." Workplace enforcement, that is.

Wishful thinking from a delusional NFL fan:

But what happens if a game or two is lost from the season? What happens if this thing drags into November? What happens if — gasp! — there is no NFL in 2011?

It would be smart to make a plan to keep that denial from turning into panic and despair. With that in mind, here are a few suggestions to help make those long, empty Sundays a little more bearable.

Leniency for me but not for thee:

The erudite* Antonin Scalia can't resist the urge to show off:

Scalia even seemed to accuse his colleagues - or the reader - of having a limited vocabulary. When he referred to the majority's "dystopian" view of Detroit, he added a footnote:

"The opposite of utopian. The word was coined by John Stuart Mill as a caustic description of British policy," Scalia added.

For the "well, duh" file. Sen. Tom Coburn, an outspoken critic of government waste, said a new GAO report of duplication of federal government redundancy "will make us all look like jackasses." Some of the details:

I can't remember doing it, so please set me free now:

More than four decades after Sen. Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated, his convicted murderer wants to go free for a crime he says he can't remember.

Sounds like a plan to me:

The cost-cutting battle lines are drawn in the U.S. Congress. But the fight will affect only maybe a sixth of spending, with big-ticket items like defense and Social Security getting a bipartisan pass for now. Still, tackling even that small slice would save money and reassure markets. A temporary government shutdown would be a small price to pay.

[. . .]

Fantasy:

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood says 80 percent of the country would be served by high-speed rail service once a national network of lines is complete.

[. . .]

He compares high-speed rail today to where the interstate highway system was 50 years ago. After half a century, the dream of a national network of interstate highways has become a reality.