Yeah, real funny:
A naked man accused of grabbing his penis outside his home and yelling at a girl as she got off her school bus Tuesday called it “a stupid joke.” An Allen County Sheriff's officer didn't get the humor.
“I told him a joke like that could only, but not likely, be funny to girls his own age,” wrote Officer Chris Kramer in his arrest report. “I told him it's not funny to a 12-year-old girl.”
This is understandable but still a shame :
Indianapolis-based Steak 'n Shake, a favorite of the late-night crowd and an Indiana institution, faces a shaky financial future.
Some stockholders hope to push the struggling restaurant chain in a new direction, but experts say that might not be enough to save it, 6News' Ray Cortopassi reported.
These seem to be our choices for president:
"I have served this country honorably -- how dare you criticize a former P.O.W."
"I am your hope for change -- just keep fainting and don't ever ask for specifics."
Of course, some believe that "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain" will mount a comeback, but it's probably time to close that particular barn door.
Apparently a lot of politicians and media heavyweights knew The New York Times had been working on a John McCain scandal story for a long time. It's finally here:
Wow, we couldn't see this one coming. The "Millenial Generation" coming out of college to mingle with us Baby Boomers and Gen X'ers in the workplace are having trouble coping:
"They wipe out on life as often as they wipe out on work itself," says Mr. Hannay, who let go more than a dozen millennials from his 130-person staff over the course of 2006.
Cut down those damn trees -- they're thwarting my efforts to use Earth-friendly energy!
SUNNYVALE, Calif. - In an environmental dispute seemingly scripted for eco-friendly California, a man asked prosecutors to file charges against his neighbors because their towering redwoods blocked sunlight to his backyard solar panels.
A Hoosier judge gets creative in his sentencing:
VALPARAISO | Wanatah resident Stephanie Pochron is to report to Porter County Jail on Monday to complete a six-month sentence stemming from a drunk driving crash this past summer.
But even after she is released, she will have a tough time forgetting about the July 9 crash that left one man seriously injured and caused havoc for an Ohio family.
This hardly seems fair:
SAN DIEGO -- A former military contractor was sentenced Tuesday to 12 years in federal prison for bribing former Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham with cash, ritzy vacations and prostitutes in exchange for help in getting government contracts.
After all, congressmen get only two years for bribing us.
Sure, it's nice to be able to download those movies and TV shows right to your computer, but is that gonna save your life?
Barry McRoy is one lucky guy. The fire chief says a DVD in his jacket pocket stopped a bullet from entering his stomach during a shooting Saturday at a restaurant in Walterboro, S.C.
McRoy, director of Colleton County's fire department, says two men were fighting when the gun went off in the foyer of the local Waffle House.
Far out, war-hatin' dudes:
The most famous postwar logo without commercial purpose -- or, at least, intended commercial purpose -- the peace symbol, turns 50 tomorrow.
We now have the three finalists for the two-day "Jeopardy!" teen tournament (Thursday and Friday, 7:30-8 p.m., CBS): Fishers, Ind.; Paducah, Ky.; and Cincinnati, Ohio. Suck it up, coastal scum. Flyover Country rules!
Now, we have two of the three finalists chosen for the "Jeopardy!" teen tournament. In addition to the girl from Indiana, there is now a boy from Paducah, Ky. I guess that says something about the education in this part of the country. As much as we criticize our public schools, they seem to stay on a fairly level-headed course. To understand that, you have only to see a school system that has gone completely off the rails, such as the Tucson Unified School District.
Marion City Council members are considering buying laptops for themselves with tax dollars, and I don't believe this justification for a second:
According to city officials, the computers would be used by council members for checking city e-mail and receiving information in preparation for council meetings.
Thank goodness. After all this time, I was afraid the media were just going to let this drop, and we never would find out the truth:
Weeks before Princess Diana died, she told her lover, Dodi Fayed, she feared the royal family was plotting to kill her and make it look like an accident, a former assistant to Fayed testified Tuesday.
Melissa Henning quoted Fayed as saying Diana told him the accident would happen when her sons, Princes William and Harry, were not around.
I'm sorry to report that Hoosiers are just as vain as the rest of the country when they go into denying-the-inevitable mode:
Physicians, tourism gurus and business experts say Hamilton County is becoming a draw for services that cater to a growing population of wealthy and well-educated baby boomers wanting to age with grace.
[. . .]
How depressing. This is the headline on a story in the Michigan City News-Dispatch, a newspaper I worked at for eight years: "Former fugative gets jail time." We knew how to spell better than that when I was there, honest we did. And the story reveals that the man was discovered and hauled in after12 years on the run. I guess technically he was a"former" fugitive at the time of his sentencing, but that still seems redundant to me. Oh, well.
What comes between the pig and the cow? The rat, of course:
About 1,500 people celebrated the Chinese New Year and Lantern Festival at Carmel High School on Sunday.
People came from all over Central Indiana to ring in the year of the rat, which began Feb. 7. A traditional New Year celebration lasts two weeks and ends with the Lantern Festival.
Those lawmakers are getting just too, too clever:
As much publicity as Internet sex stings have gotten, anybody still attempting to solicit sex online and thinking it is a real 15-year-old girl instead of an undercover cop deserves to go to prison for criminal dumbness alone. And that's just your run-of-the-mill sex pervert. This guy really should have known better and has to be exceptionally dumb or exceedingly desperate:
Gadzooks, what a game! Indiana vs. Purdue, both in the top 15 nationally, the leadership of the Big 10 on the line, Purdue staying close but finally getting beaten 77-68 by Indiana. Easily the biggest game (for us here) of the season, and because it was on ESPN instead of the Big 10 Network, I actually got to watch it.
