A lot of people will probably be making fun of this. I am the government! I can even control the language:
Oct. 2 (Bloomberg) -- Brazil's Federal District Governor Jose Roberto Arruda ``fired'' the present participle from his administration, citing inefficiency.
You might think from some of my posts that I think environmentalists are the ones most likely to go off the deep end. They might be in the top 5, but the animal-rights people are the ones who are really out there. Just a few quotes:
"The life of an ant and that of my child should be granted equal consideration."
"If the death of one rat cured all diseases, it wouldn't make any difference to me."
And I thought Indiana's alcohol laws were convoluted:
The state Senate's Law and Justice Committee is trying to liberalize beer sales in Pennsylvania.
Today it approved House Bill 1420, which would permit beer distributors to sell one, two or three six-packs of beer at a time. Currently, distributors can only sell full cases of either 24 or 30 cans.
[. . .]
Don't know how Fort Wayne let Monroe County sneak in ahead of us to score this potential first:
Bloomington - A proposed ordinance in Monroe County could extend a smoking ban to include cars when children are present. It's a relatively new idea across the country and is creating controversy in central Indiana.
[. . .]
OK, I take it all back. Neil Young's "Southern Man" is a heartbreaking work of staggering genius compared with John Mellencamp's attempt to find meaning in Jena:
An all white jury hides the executioner's face
Is this how we are, me and you?
Everyone needs to know their place
And here we thought this blackbird was hidden in the flue
Oh oh oh Jena
Oh oh oh Jena
Oh oh oh Jena
Take your nooses down
I don't have much to do with diet foods, but I've used Equal instead of sugar in my coffee ever since the stuff first came out. I drink so much of it that I figured it couldn't help but make me lose weight. This bad news may help explain why I have not exactly become svelte:
Everybody says this case, in which a judge ordered a defendant who had pleaded guilty to fondling a girl to go to the newspaper and admit he lied when he told a reporter that he had not fondled the girl, is unique. It's new to me, too, but I've been covering politics so long that I'm not exactly shocked that someone might not tell the complete truth to a newspaper. Something called the "Alford plea," which I had not heard of, is mentioned:
People have such a delicate way of putting things sometimes. The athletic director of Indiana State University, in announcing the firing of football coach Lou West, was a master of understatement:
I swear we're all in the wrong businesses. The real money is in consulting:
The results of a management study that cost the Philadelphia School District nearly $700,000 have languished unread by top officials for almost a year, The Inquirer has learned.
In fact, it took district officials about a week to even locate a report by the consultants involved after The Inquirer requested the information.
With "The War," Ken Burns is showing us details that we didn't know could still be learned about World War II. Maybe the series should be required viewing in all our high schools:
If high school juniors' answers to a World War II questionnaire were strung together, here's how history would look:
World War II took place in 19-something, when Theodore Roosevelt was president and the Germans claimed to be the best race.
Speaking of Burma and "1984" -- all you whiny people who are paranoid about being on camera 24 hours a day; just shut up and stop being silly:
LONDON - Mayor Bloomberg has a message for New Yorkers who don't like surveillance cameras: Get real.
It looks like Isiah Thomas can't help but bring embarrassment and controversy to whoever is stupid enough to hire him:
Around the time reform-supporters in Russia fired up their faxes and e-mails and surrounded and protected Boris Yeltsin, the conventional wisdom started growing that the new information technology would liberate "the people" rather than empower their would-be oppressors. "1984" had gotten it wrong. But as we can now see from the monstrous actions by the thugs in Burma, that view may have been a tad premature:
Here's a shock. Nobody is paying attention to the "new TV season":
NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - The first week of the new television season has left industry observers concerned about the absence of a breakout series.
Only two new shows, NBC's "Bionic Woman" and ABC's "Private Practice," have gotten out of the gate with enough ratings momentum to reach potential hit status.
Ah, if wishing could make it so:
WASHINGTON, Oct. 1 — Senator Barack Obama will propose on Tuesday setting a goal of eliminating all nuclear weapons in the world, saying the United States should greatly reduce its stockpiles to lower the threat of nuclear terrorism, aides say.
I guess we should feel flattered that someone across the world thinks so much of a Hoosier that she reaches back here to steal his words:
AN ANALYSIS of a report written by the head of University of Sydney's Conservatorium of Music reveals that up to two-thirds of the text is identical to material drawn from speeches and documents from overseas sources.
[. . .]
A friend more observant than I am noticed that all the NFL quarterbacks have green dots on the backs of their helmets this year and asked me why. Naturally, I just Googled it:
The green dot is the result of a new rule in effect for the 2007 NFL season. The green dot helmet indicates that the helmet is wired with a radio for calling in plays to the quarterback.
Go ahead. Make our tax day:
The Cook County Board of Commissioners is considering increasing its sales tax to 11 percent to meet its budgetary needs. A vote was expected Monday, but the board put it off until Oct. 16. If approved, the sales tax would be nearly double Northwest Indiana's 6 percent sales tax. And that could not only mean more shoppers, but also more higher-end stores for the region, local officials say.
Simon Rios gets four life terms for killing his family, and Prosecutor Karen Richards unloads:
Rios himself spoke at length Monday, sobbing through his stories, through his claims at finding God, his pleas for forgiveness and his desire to see his “princesses” someday again.
To: Terrorists Insurgents Our adversaries in Darfur
From: The United Nations
